I am what!?!

The date was January 15th and my Jeremy had just taken off for the weekend to go wheeling in Oregon. I was bored and messing around on the Trying to Conceive board on BabyCenter.com. I started reading all of these stories from women who just found out they were pregnant. My eyes filled with tears and I stopped dead in my tracks...wait a minute...where is MY period...

Okay Okay...let me back up here a minute...

Let me start from the beginning. Jeremy and I had made a life changing decision in June of 2009. We started to feel as if something was missing from our lives. Most of our friends and family had started families and we could see how much it changed their lives...in a good way...

After a very long discussion and an IUD removal that could go down in history as the most dramatic scene in history (a story for another day) we were on our way to start a family. The first month of trying and nothing happening I was a wreck!! We had unprotected sex all month and I didn't get pregnant?? How could that be?
I decided that we just needed to "try harder". After the 3rd month of trying and nothing happening I went to the Dr. I was convinced that something was terribly wrong with me and that I was a failure. My OB kind of laughed at me as I laid out the details of the last three months and how hard we were trying. I told her to bring out the big guns and test for everything! I just knew I was broken. After my dramatic layout of my long and hard journey, she looked at me with a half smile and said..."Come back in 9 months if you still aren't pregnant." I was very shocked and annoyed...9 months...9 months!! I can't wait that long. I have plans!!
She gently explained to me that it takes most couples an average of 6 months to conceive and that after a year of trying with no luck they would then start the tests.
Well just to humor me she took a blood test and sent me on my way. The results showed that my progesterone level (a hormone that aids in fertility and also the upkeep of pregnancy) was low but not low enough to panic just yet..
Well fall went by and I started to feel like a complete failure. I got online and read up on everything I could on fertility and decided I would take matters in my own hands. I used thermometers, vitamins, calendars, ect..and things started to go downhill. Jeremy thought I had lost my mind and refused to even try when I was acting "so crazy" and I really knew in my heart that God didn't want me to be a mother.
December came and I was finally allowed to apply for the Spring Start 2010 nursing program. Jeremy and I had a few long talks and decided to change our plans a little bit. We would wait until June to try again if I did indeed get accepted into the program. I wasn't going to take any birth control but we would just try schedule intimacy around certain weeks on the calendar.
I felt pretty confident that I knew what days I was most fertile (even though I still hadn't conceived yet) and we went on with our lives.
Christmas came and went and I was frantically checking my mailbox everyday for my Nursing acceptance or denial letter. Days and Days went by and still nothing...
I had heard rumors of girls getting denial letters already and yet my mailbox was still empty..
January 12th came and I had the worst cramps in the world. I wasn't too disappointed this month because we weren't really trying anymore so my stupid period wasn't going to get me down! I took some medicine and went on with my life. January 15th was a Friday and Jeremy was headed off to Oregon with some friends of his to go wheeling. After he left I was really bored so I went on to talk to some of my friends on the Trying To Conceive board on Baby Center. So many girls were announcing that they took pregnancy tests that day and were rejoicing with their good news of being pregnant. As I congratulated them I started to realize that my evil monthly curse hadn't arrived yet...hmmmm...that is weird...I started to count the days and realized that I was due today! I didn't put to much thought into it because tomorrow was just around the corner and I figured I would for sure start. I kept on talking to the ladies online and started to just "have a feeling" that I needed to go get a test. My whole body was shaking and I was sweaty and nervous. I went to Target and everything started to blur. I remember picking up a test that showed 2 lines for pregnant and I walked away. I stopped when I got to the counter and turned around..that wasn't going to be good enough. I wanted one that said the words..PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT. I wanted to be 100% sure even though I had a feeling I already knew.
Got home, took the test and my stomach was in knots! I stared at the test without blinking for what seemed like an hour even though it must have been under a minute..Then...It happened. My life changed forever.. PREGNANT. My eyes filled with tears and then I laughed...followed by more tears..
I called Jeremy and he was very shocked. He congratulated us and I hung up to let it sink in..
The next day my acceptance letter came in the mail and I am starting the Nursing Program April 5th. The timing wasn't perfect but at the same time when would it have been?
I still can't believe my own ears when I say that I am going to be a mom...
I am having a baby. WOW! I AM HAVING A BABY!!!
Please join me on my rollercoaster of emotion, hormone filled, crazy journey of pregnancy.
I will do my best to update as much as possible...