Last Blog before I am a mommy!

It seems so surreal and hard to grasp that at any moment I will be a mommy. I am just trying to keep my self busy while always knowing in the back of my head that I could go into labor at any moment.
I feel very proud of myself in the fact that I made it through the two first nursing quarters without a hitch..It was getting difficult at the end with how big I am getting but I made it nonetheless!! I try not to think about how much I am going to miss my new nursing friends and am always trying to remember that God had different plans and they will be lifelong friends.

Everything on my "before baby is due" list is complete. I have finished the baby's room, bags are packed, house is spotless, carseat has been fire department approved and my toes are going to be painted today...It is time for Reid to come.
It is the weirdest feeling to see my house full of baby stuff and not have a baby yet.

I think it is cute that my mother-in-law has her bags ready and packed. She is just waiting for the phone call so she can come join us in the delivery room. It is a moment I want her to remember forever (even at the expense of my own dignity). Thank goodness for the timing and the fact that she is retired. I am more than happy to have the help and can't wait to experience this new journey.

Jeremy would like baby to come tomorrow at 4pm. He says it will make for a nice long weekend..ha ha. If only we could pick. I would have picked Monday.
So here I am, relaxing and trying to enjoy the small things before my life changes forever. My biggest fear is knowing that Jeremy and I will have a different relationship than we do now. We have been together 5 years and all 5 of those years have been packed full of trips and excitement. I love our relationship right now and to know that it is going to be different, in a good way, brings fear. We have had many talks and are prepared for the change...as much as we can. I am very thankful we didn't rush into parenthood because our relationship has already withstood a few trials. We are stronger than ever and now able to take on the most important journey of our lives together.

I am very thankful for family. We have been blessed so much with wonderful gifts and advice and just the knowledge that if we need anything at any time, we will have help. I wish they lived closer to us but I know I can't have EVERYTHING I want. I try not to think about next year and the daycare situation. I truly wish I could have grandma watch him while I finish nursing but I have to pray and know that everything will fall into place the way it is supposed to..

Cheers to the last few days, minutes, or hours until I become a mother! I have made my mistakes, learned from the past, and now here I sit....ready to impart my wisdom to the little gift inside of me...

These are the days...

I knew all along that these last weeks would be hard with the amount of school and the all around fun that pregnancy brings. I have been telling myself that it will go by fast but it sure doesn't seem like it. I am huge everywhere, and I can't get comfortable to save my life. I am always hot and I am now experiencing back pain, swollen legs and feet, restless legs, heartburn, and charlie horses! People keep asking me if Ive experienced this pregnancy side effect or that pregnancy side effect and I will say no just to experience it the next day!
I am happy to have any symptom of pregnancy because I am going to have Reid in the end, It just has been really getting hard with having to sit through long classes and stand through long clinicals. The good news is that I only have less than 4 weeks of class, one test, 5 clinicals, and a final left! Phew... I can do it!
Jeremy and I attended some birthing classes and are really glad we did!
We learned so many things about the process of birth that it really seemed to have an effect on calming any nerves. The funny thing is that we had the OB unit in my nursing class the next week so I was able to do well on the test and also learn even more about the birthing process.
I honestly haven't been nervous about giving birth. I feel honored and excited that I was blessed with this pregnancy and think that the pain and labor is all part of that blessing. Call me crazy but I can't wait until my water breaks!!
Jeremy and I received our first big purchase in the mail for baby, the changing table, and after hours of putting it together it was defective. We just received a different one in the mail but I didn't realize it was from the same company and so I am hoping all goes well...
Tomorrow I head out to my first baby shower. I am in awe and denial that I even qualify for one of these things.. I get to see some good friends that I haven't seen in a while so that makes me happy.
The only thing we really have left is a breast-feeding class (hopefully I can convince Jeremy to join although I don't blame him if he opts out) and one more baby shower. Come the beginning of September I plan on getting this house squeeky clean and relaxing before my life changes!!

3rd Trimester!

It is very hard for me to believe that I am already in my third trimester!
Things have been very busy here in the Ayers household with school and yard work and all the activities that summer brings.
The weather here has just started to get warm and I can already tell that I am going to be miserable. For some reason when I am out in the heat I just feel like my skin is melting right off of my body and it has barely even been in the 80's! I can only imagine what it will be like when the weather gets in the 90's and 100's...

I finished my first quarter of Nursing with A's and I feel really good about that. This next quarter which will be the last before baby is born already starts on Monday. I have bought everything to make 12 hour clinicals a little more enjoyable while being in my 8th and 9th month...Maternity scrub pants (not allowed but what they don't know cant hurt), nice shoes, and a maternity belt to help hold up baby belly weight while standing on my feet so long. I am looking forward to working in Med/Oncology and hopefully even be able to stand in during a surgery!

We finally cleaned out our computer/spare room and officially have made it into baby Reid's room. Jeremy's parents came over to help us paint and add border to the walls. It looks adorable and I am waiting for everything to really hit me. I will add photos of the baby's room. I have finally finished my baby shower lists and I have a feeling once school starts on Monday, everything is going to fly by and the next thing I know I will be taking my final and waiting the last 2 weeks until I am due. I am anxious and excited and have a hard time believing it is true!

Registering for the baby shower was very overwhelming for me. There are so many products and many kinds of the same products that I felt clueless. It seems every mother I run into has some "advice" to give me about their favorite product and I personally just want to find out what my little guy will like all on my own. I know most people will just buy whatever they have found useful and I hope that really happens. I have no clue what baby bottles or pacifiers or breast pump is the best!! Being a first time mom can be overwhelming at times, but I have enjoyed every minute of the journey so far.

At my last appt. I was still under the normal weight gain for a pregnancy at this stage and that made me feel good. I don't feel like that is true by the way I look though.. I have a hard time doing the things I once did and for some reason that makes me feel discouraged when I know it shouldn't. My husband and I have had to cut our walks down in time and also make sure we go when it isn't too hot..
I had to drink that really sweet drink (which I thought was good) and get my blood taken to check for gestational diabetes. I will know at my next appt if I passed or failed. My appt's have been raised to every two weeks and I can't believe I am already to that point!
Every time I have seen the doctor he has said I am measuring ahead (fundus or size of uterus should be the same amount of centimeters as gestational age in weeks or how far along I am) and that I should even out eventually. Well, that hasn't happened yet, in fact, the doctor is going to watch me more carefully because I went from 1/2 a centimeter ahead to 1 centimeter ahead and now am on 2 1/2 centimeters ahead. That could be nothing or it could be baby Reid is large, long, or both and we might have to discuss birthing options when I get a little closer...Yikes! I hope I don't have a beefer on my hands...Although Jeremy was almost 9 pounds so that could be an issue..That would explain the fact that my stomach seems to double in size every time I wake up..

As long as I make it to my final at 37 1/2 weeks; he can come any time after that.

Reid Daniel Ayers

Well for all of you that do not have a Facebook, we have decided on the name Reid Daniel Ayers. I have loved Reid from the beginning but it took a little convincing on Jeremy's part.
From the start I chose 4 names I really liked and Jeremy started calling the baby Daniel. I told him I wanted to see all of my options and when I feel like I know the right name I will let him know and he can see if he likes it too.
Jeremy surprised me with a baby name book one day and we sat down together. Much to our dismay this particular book favored Hindu, and Middle Eastern names. I swear I couldn't find one name I liked.
Jeremy found a couple and with the ones I liked we created a poll. Landon won by a landslide and that was one I really liked before I got pregnant but that name has become popular all of a sudden and I didn't feel like baby was a Landon.
I kept calling baby Reid and Jeremy kept calling him Daniel. I finally told Jeremy that Daniel Reid, or Reid Daniel are our final choices but we need to choose quickly before he gets confused!
While I was just about to fall asleep one night Jeremy came into the room and said while he was fixing the Jeep one of his parts was made by a Reid and they sent him a sticker. He was sure it was a sign....there it was..our name :)

On June 1st I get another anatomy scan to look at baby Reid's parts. The Dr. said that he was a bit active and they could only see certain organs and would like to make sure the rest are developing great. What they could see was great and baby was measuring around 5 days ahead of schedule. Mommy does not like this news and hopes he evens out because I will get out of Summer quarter only 2 WEEKS before due date. I have been praying for a healthy pregnancy without any complications, bed rest, ect.... I need every day of this pregnancy to prepare!!

It's a boy!!

Monday April 26th was the big appt to find out the baby's sex. I made the appt for 5pm so that Jeremy wouldn't have to leave work too early. I had a huge hard test that morning and thought that would consume my thoughts but waiting until 5pm was very hard! I haven't been that nervous in a long time and I was shaky all day.

The time finally came for us to be in the waiting room and I was soo antsy. Jeremy arrived calm as always as we waited for a while. As I sat there imagining what the outcome of our appt would be Jeremy seemed a little more concerned about dinner. He was hungry and kept asking me what I wanted!! I had no clue what I wanted and was barely even hungry because I was nervous. I told him I was going to blog about how concerned he was about dinner that night right before we would find out the sex of our baby..

So the tech examined all the measurements as I searched for any sign of a boy part or girl part. She finally reached the measurements for the legs and I thought I saw a little penis. I looked at her and said, "That is a penis isn't it?" She said, "I didn't get that good of a view but if I were to make a guess I would say boy..."
Nice... I wasn't about to take that as a final answer so I went to the bathroom and did a little dance and jumped up and down so baby would cooperate. When I went back in the tech tried again and even though baby was very active she said that girls dont have anything extra in between the legs and she is pretty sure she saw the twig and berries.

I prepared for that moment since I became pregnant. I just always had a feeling that it would be a boy and I wouldn't care either way. Of course if i was being honest I wanted a girl VERY bad. I always imagined a girl whenever I thought of kids and the fact that I was ACTUALLY having a boy was starting to hit me.
We went out to eat after our appt and I was trying to be upbeat. We had called immediate family and text everyone else and I was having fun with all of the positive responses. I excused myself to the bathroom and when I was flushing the toilet my phone fell out of my pocket and landed in the toilet!! I was not very happy...
I washed off my phone and went back to dinner. Jeremy asked me why I was being so quiet and I lost it...I started to cry so hard and couldn't stop. The waiter came to ask us for our order but quickly excused himself as I was making an ass of myself. I just couldn't believe I was having a boy.. I wanted Jeremy to have a little girl so badly because he just loves them and I really wanted a girl too.
Jeremy said that having a boy is very very good news and crying about it makes him sad. I told him it was the disappointment of not having a girl, not the fact that I am having a boy. I wanted to have another girl in the house so I wouldn't be outnumbered all of the time and feel left out. Jeremy was very encouraging and reassured me that having a son of my own will be completely different.

Needless to say I am more than thrilled now and cannot wait for the arrival of our little guy. We do not have a name picked out yet but Jeremy calls him Daniel. I have a feeling it might stick..

I have felt the baby many times but not any big movements on the outside of my belly yet. I love being able to feel baby move around inside of me. It is one of the best feelings I have ever experienced...

More to come when we officially pick a name!

2 More Days!!

I can't believe I will know if I am having a boy or girl in two days!!
I am soo anxious and not because it matters but because this is one of those "life changing" moments..

That is all for now. Big announcement coming in two days!

Week 17 doctors appt

Earlier this week I had my 17 week doctors appt. I was forced to choose a doc and ended up choosing a male. I am very nervous about that fact but he has an outstanding reputation and "tries" to deliver all his own babies. The nurses refer to him as the "cute Dr." which doesn't make my nerves any better.
I made the appt. to find out the sex of the baby so Monday night April 26th at 5pm this pregnancy is going to get a whole lot more real.I get a nervous stomach every time I think of that appt. It is a very, very exciting day for us but it will really set everything in stone. I will be having a son or a daughter and not just an "it".
I still think baby is a boy. I keep thinking about him as this chubby little cutie with no hair and wearing little t-shirts with Jeremy's business logo on it.
Jeremy already has big plans for baby. He is thinking small quad or dirt bike for when it gets a little older. He can't wait to finally do all of the things that daddy's get to do with their children. I asked him what would happen if my feeling is wrong and we have a girl? He told me that he will just make sure the quad is pink :)
I thought that was very cute!

Nursing school started and I just LOVE it! I enjoy learning and it doesn't really feel like a chore. Everything I learn from here on out will be vital to my career so I soak it up like a sponge. I have already made friends for life and the thought of me having to leave them at the end of summer quarter makes me a little teary eyed. I know that they will still be around, but I am a little sad that I will not be in the same class with them the whole time. I know my perspective about that will change when baby bean arrives.
It feels a little different for me to have two life changing things happening at once. My mind is focused on being a mom and getting baby's room organized one minute, and the next minute I am trying to memorize all of the vital lung sound spots on the human body. Both of those things make me very happy and I happen to be embarking on them at the same time!

Things are changing...

Not only am I growing at a very rapid pace (even though it is supposed to be a joyous occasion I can't help notice places that shouldn't be growing) but my life is changing in many different ways. I started thinking today about how nice it has been the last couple of weeks. I have had spare time to clean things that have been on my list for a while, shop, and catch up on T.V. shows..as I was taking my sweet time getting ready today the future started to really hit me. Starting Monday my life will be a whirlwind. I start the nursing program and that will take up all of my time..Before I know it I will have a baby and that will take up all of my time until I go back to the nursing program. At that time I will be attempting school and a baby and I can only imagine how that is going to go. After school comes the career I have dreamed about for a while.
It all starts to feel like too much and I just when I realize I have forgotten to take a breath for 2 minutes I remember one thing...I am not the only person who has done this before. There are many students that are parents, and many people with careers and babies. After lots of hard work I will be fulfilled because I will have my family AND a career...Ahhh....it will be worth it.

I am surprised at the comments I get. It is almost like people are daring me to fail. Of course I have no idea how to be a parent and go to school, but I am going to do it. I have the will and determination and that is all I need. Lately, when I seem to be getting the "just wait until you are a parent speech." Thanks for all those comments. You don't think that when I see a kid in a grocery store throwing a fit that I think about myself in that position? WRONG!! I think about it all the time. I actually dwell on it sometimes and it freaks me out..Trust me I do think about how hard it is and NO I do not judge you when your kid acts up. Just because I don't have any kids right now doesn't mean that your kid annoys me and in fact it offends me to think that you think of me that way.

I guess part of me thought I would get more encouragement but I seem to mainly hear about how HARD it is going to be. I would rather hear how good you feel at the end of the day. I figure many people think that if they don't warn me I will regret my decision or something. I do have a clue about the hard part because I have a step child, but I am now looking forward to experiencing the good along with the bad, the joys and the pains..

So enough about that. More on baby stuff. So, our spare room is getting cleaned out and slowly, and I mean slowly, preparing to become a baby room. I currently use the room as my closet and computer room and cannot even fathom where all of my clothes and our desk and computer are going to go. I am hoping that one day everything will "poof" be ready but that is just dreaming. I find out the sex of the baby in about 3-4 weeks. I cannot wait!! At that point it will become a he/she instead of an it and I will be that much closer to feeling like a mommy.
I still can barely stand the smell/taste of meat, but at least now I can be in the general area without feeling like I am going to pass out.
I have had major headaches that just won't go away. Many people say it is from the extra hormones. I have done everything that has been suggested and they are still there so I think they may be right.
Also, for an update on my previous blog about my progesterone issues: I went to a new OB and she took me off all the progesterone pills and cream! I have been off of it all for over 2 weeks and everything seems to be just fine. What a relief to be done with that drama :)
I hope to keep this blog up to date during my schooling. I am pretty nervous and excited to start. I am at the point where everything is ready and I just want to start. My next appt is a week from Monday so I will try and blog at that time!
Happy Spring Everyone.

Oh Boy!!

So from the beginning I have thought that I am pregnant with a boy. No, I do not know yet what I am having....
I have always imagined myself with a little girl and nothing else. There isn't really an explanation for it except that maybe the fact that I grew up with two younger sisters.
The more I thought about it the more I realize that maybe I need a boy to change my current thinking about having a son.
This is a blog so I will just be honest. I have a step-son and it has been the hardest thing that I have ever done. I think my mind has been tainted with what little boys are really like because of the experiences I have had so far. I don't really expect anyone to understand nor do people's opinions matter unless they have been in my shoes. I have this "son" who already has a mother and my husband is his father. I want to feel what my husband feels towards him, but because he isn't my son I just don't. I know that will never change but I am constantly at odds with myself when he is around. Part of me feels like giving up most of the time, and the other part of me is mad at the way I am feeling. It is....hands down....the hardest thing I have ever done.
Because of that situation I think am stand-off-ish about having a boy. I am already the only girl in our house (dog included) and I just think it would be neat to have a girl running around here.
After thinking and really trying to understand what my fears are about having a boy, I realized that I was just overthinking the situation. Having a child of my own is going to be very different in so many ways. I will be able to share the love of something with my husband and I think that will make all of the difference in the world. Having a boy or girl doesn't really matter because It will be part me and part Jeremy and everything about it will be much different.
If only I didn't have to wait over 4 weeks to find out!!

Problems already??

At my 6 week appointment my OB noticed that my progesterone levels were dropping. She didn't have much hope for my baby and me at that point. She gave me an RX for a cream to raise my levels and told me to watch out for bleeding and sent me on my way.
Watch out for bleeding?!? What in the crap does that even mean? I looked at her with despair and said, "Does that mean I am going to have a miscarriage?" She told me that she was just going to be honest with me and let me know that a drop in progesterone usually is your body's way of "letting go" of the baby.
I was absolutely crushed as I left and cried all the way to the pharmacy. I was in total shock...I took my cream and faithfully applied it twice a day as commanded. I also got a hold of some friends and asked them to pray for my little baby and my body. For some reason my body isn't making enough hormones to keep the baby in place but I know that faith and prayer is bigger than a stupid blood test.
I continued to worry and take my cream every day. I went back for a blood test and the report wasn't good. My blood hasn't dropped but it isn't going up enough. I needed to know double my current dosage.
At that point I also had my first real U/S. I went into the clinic on an emergency basis and was filled with excitement to see a picture of my baby. The Radiology tech was advised of the worst and wouldn't tell me anything. She kept to herself as small flashes of my baby popped up on the screen. I could see it but I couldn't see a heartbeat. I asked her questions but she told me she was not allowed to tell me and that my doc would call me later. She took about a thousand pictures of what seemed like every internal organ until....finally she started with the baby. She zoomed in and I saw the greatest thing...a little heart beating on the screen. Well, I am not a dummy and I watched as she measured and counted the heartbeat...HA! I saw that my baby was measuring ahead of schedule AND the heartbeat was normal and even a little high. I was beaming inside and secretly thought about punching the tech (lets just call that crazy hormones) right in the eye. Finally she offered me a picture. She said that she has had many experiences where the girl has wanted a picture but the baby had no heartbeat. She gave me a picture and said, "I wouldn't be giving this to you if there were any problems with your baby." Phew!!! I sort of wanted to take back my visual of punching her but I also knew that she made me worry for no reason so I left my visual right where it was.
Days went by and my hormone levels were actually going up! I was constantly having emotional highs and lows from all these blood tests and it was wearing me down..
The last blood test last week was back to bad news. Even with the increase of dosage my body was not responding to the hormone cream. My OB prescribed me something called Prometrium and I had to rush to the pharmacy to get it. After many of hundreds of dollar pharmacy stops I was getting tired. This is ridiculous! I don't want to continue hearing bad news. My OB sent me back to the clinic for another U/S to make sure baby bean was growing.
This was last Thursday. I was given a late appt. which meant that Jeremy could come with me. I was very glad because regardless of what they saw, I wasn't alone this time. Being the woman in this situation has left me feeling alone and a lot like a failure. I am the one that is responsible for growing our baby the right way. I have been doing everything that all the books say and still...I am failing. I just can't help feeling like I am a bad mother already! Why can't my stupid body just be normal!?!
As we waited for our appointment I was filled with anxiety. I was trying to play it cool but I was literally shaking. Next to me was my handsome husband who is as optimistic as anyone I have ever met! He looked so calm while I sat there shaking. I looked at him with raging hormones and said, "Why aren't you worried?!?!?!?" He looked at me and smiled and said, "Because there isn't anything wrong. I am excited to see our baby. Now, can I get back to reading this good article on the financial state of China?"
I am being serious. That is what he said. I contemplated another vision of myself and my punching skills but I decided that what he said just had to be true. Obviously I have made it past 11 weeks without bleeding or cramping or even the faintest sign of a miscarriage. I should adopt his attitude. I tried my hardest to think like my amazing husband and I said a little prayer.
Dear God,
I am not sure If I can handle anymore bad news. These rollercoaster emotions are wearing me down. Please just let this be THE appointment that either eases my mind, or confirms that things aren't going to continue. I need to know the truth.
Jessi
Just then we were called back by none other than a cute pregnant girl! My heart jumped a little! She can relate! Maybe she will be a little nicer and give me a better experience than the last time.
Well, I was right. She was awesome! She got right to the point and zoomed in on my baby. What we saw finally gave me the answers that I needed. There was my baby...AND..it was moving around soo much she could barely get a picture. My cute little baby had arms and legs and was swimming around like a hyper little human. I kept laughing because it was the cutest thing I have ever seen. The little legs would push off the side of my uterus and swim all over. You could see the little feet clear as day. A fat little body with tiny arms and legs and they were moving all over! I was shocked! I asked her if it was normal that babies move around at this age and the tech was smiling and just assured me that it is perfectly normal. She said that I had an active one on my hands and that that is very good news...I just knew that everything was going to be okay. How could it not be. My baby was having the time of its life inside me and here I was thinking that I was going to lose it.
Needless to say I have switched Dr.'s and cannot wait to see someone else. Anytime I feel scared or down I just think of that appointment and how much joy this little thing that I haven't met has already brought me. I am soo in love with my baby and I cannot wait to meet him/her in September.
As for my hormone levels...I do not know if the prometrium is working yet. I have my next appt. in one week from today and I do not want to worry about it. I am doing everything I can and that is all that I can do. I have faith that my body will start to behave and everything will be just fine.
I am 12 weeks today and this is the day I have been waiting for. All the books that I have read and people I have talked to have told me that once you hit the 12 week mark and have heard a heartbeat..your chance of anything going wrong goes under 1%. Those are pretty good odds if you ask me :)

I am what!?!

The date was January 15th and my Jeremy had just taken off for the weekend to go wheeling in Oregon. I was bored and messing around on the Trying to Conceive board on BabyCenter.com. I started reading all of these stories from women who just found out they were pregnant. My eyes filled with tears and I stopped dead in my tracks...wait a minute...where is MY period...

Okay Okay...let me back up here a minute...

Let me start from the beginning. Jeremy and I had made a life changing decision in June of 2009. We started to feel as if something was missing from our lives. Most of our friends and family had started families and we could see how much it changed their lives...in a good way...

After a very long discussion and an IUD removal that could go down in history as the most dramatic scene in history (a story for another day) we were on our way to start a family. The first month of trying and nothing happening I was a wreck!! We had unprotected sex all month and I didn't get pregnant?? How could that be?
I decided that we just needed to "try harder". After the 3rd month of trying and nothing happening I went to the Dr. I was convinced that something was terribly wrong with me and that I was a failure. My OB kind of laughed at me as I laid out the details of the last three months and how hard we were trying. I told her to bring out the big guns and test for everything! I just knew I was broken. After my dramatic layout of my long and hard journey, she looked at me with a half smile and said..."Come back in 9 months if you still aren't pregnant." I was very shocked and annoyed...9 months...9 months!! I can't wait that long. I have plans!!
She gently explained to me that it takes most couples an average of 6 months to conceive and that after a year of trying with no luck they would then start the tests.
Well just to humor me she took a blood test and sent me on my way. The results showed that my progesterone level (a hormone that aids in fertility and also the upkeep of pregnancy) was low but not low enough to panic just yet..
Well fall went by and I started to feel like a complete failure. I got online and read up on everything I could on fertility and decided I would take matters in my own hands. I used thermometers, vitamins, calendars, ect..and things started to go downhill. Jeremy thought I had lost my mind and refused to even try when I was acting "so crazy" and I really knew in my heart that God didn't want me to be a mother.
December came and I was finally allowed to apply for the Spring Start 2010 nursing program. Jeremy and I had a few long talks and decided to change our plans a little bit. We would wait until June to try again if I did indeed get accepted into the program. I wasn't going to take any birth control but we would just try schedule intimacy around certain weeks on the calendar.
I felt pretty confident that I knew what days I was most fertile (even though I still hadn't conceived yet) and we went on with our lives.
Christmas came and went and I was frantically checking my mailbox everyday for my Nursing acceptance or denial letter. Days and Days went by and still nothing...
I had heard rumors of girls getting denial letters already and yet my mailbox was still empty..
January 12th came and I had the worst cramps in the world. I wasn't too disappointed this month because we weren't really trying anymore so my stupid period wasn't going to get me down! I took some medicine and went on with my life. January 15th was a Friday and Jeremy was headed off to Oregon with some friends of his to go wheeling. After he left I was really bored so I went on to talk to some of my friends on the Trying To Conceive board on Baby Center. So many girls were announcing that they took pregnancy tests that day and were rejoicing with their good news of being pregnant. As I congratulated them I started to realize that my evil monthly curse hadn't arrived yet...hmmmm...that is weird...I started to count the days and realized that I was due today! I didn't put to much thought into it because tomorrow was just around the corner and I figured I would for sure start. I kept on talking to the ladies online and started to just "have a feeling" that I needed to go get a test. My whole body was shaking and I was sweaty and nervous. I went to Target and everything started to blur. I remember picking up a test that showed 2 lines for pregnant and I walked away. I stopped when I got to the counter and turned around..that wasn't going to be good enough. I wanted one that said the words..PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT. I wanted to be 100% sure even though I had a feeling I already knew.
Got home, took the test and my stomach was in knots! I stared at the test without blinking for what seemed like an hour even though it must have been under a minute..Then...It happened. My life changed forever.. PREGNANT. My eyes filled with tears and then I laughed...followed by more tears..
I called Jeremy and he was very shocked. He congratulated us and I hung up to let it sink in..
The next day my acceptance letter came in the mail and I am starting the Nursing Program April 5th. The timing wasn't perfect but at the same time when would it have been?
I still can't believe my own ears when I say that I am going to be a mom...
I am having a baby. WOW! I AM HAVING A BABY!!!
Please join me on my rollercoaster of emotion, hormone filled, crazy journey of pregnancy.
I will do my best to update as much as possible...